Buddha's Delight
by Morgan 'Shii' Goat
Summary: Monkey Pink invites three contest winners to dinner, not knowing what fate has in store for her love life. [M.PinkxPipotron Red] Rated for some suggestive themes.


**Disclaimer**: Characters from the Ape Escape series are copyrighted to Sony Computer Entertainment. The song "Buddha's Delight", sung by Haley Bennett, is from the movie _Music and Lyrics_.

**Note**: A Pipotron Yellow gender-bender (?); P-Yellow is female. Also, as a warning, two crack pairings are involved: P-Red/Monkey Pink, with a touch of P-Blue/M-Pink. Those who are not tolerant of these or any other crack pairings should not read this.

When I fell in love for the first time, I promised myself that he, that one I'm after, would return his love for me someday. But life isn't like that, and one night, and while I did receive love, it came from the least expected source…

"Thank you," I cried out as tears of joy streamed from my eyes. "Thank you all for coming to hear my new single! Here it is: 'Our Story'." Then I took a deep breath as my cue approached, and I sang.

"_Once upon a story,_

_There was us._

_And once upon a dream,_

_We were in love."_

More tears fell as I sang the bridge.

"_But as the dream unraveled_

_And as the story traveled,_

_I discovered… that were never meant to be."_

Then the chorus… "The typical love story 

_Is not as real as it seems,_

_For the truth can strike upon you_

_And rip you at the seams!"_

Despite the feelings that I had from hearing the lyrics that came from my mouth, I continued to sing, for the sake of entertaining my audience of thousands. When I finished, I curtseyed, but didn't do my trademark of blowing a kiss before walking offstage.

_Now that this darn concert's over, I might as well meet the "VIP" winners and get this whole thing over with. Maybe if they're attractive, I'll stay longer._

Unfortunately, the three grand-prize winners didn't look even close to good-looking. They all had black fur instead of the usual brown, jet-black helmets instead of white… and are they wearing tacky white boxers? The tallest and lankiest one's face and hands were blue, with sad green eyes and a long row of razor-sharp teeth. The only female of the group had a yellow face and hands, with large red eyes and no visible mouth. And the third one—most likely the oldest, from speculation—was red-faced, with sharp, yellow eyes, and a larger lower jaw.

"It-it-it's Monkey Pink… _in person_," the blue one stuttered, his pitch an octave higher than it should sound, and he dropped to his knees. "I-I'm your biggest fan!"

_Sure you are; they all say that._ Hoping to get the Jaws of Life out of my way, I whipped from my pocket the first copy of my latest CD. As I opened the disc cover to sign it with my lucky pen, I said flatly, "Enjoy." Sure enough, he bought it… and kissed it, too.

"Don't mind Blue, there," the red one said, pointing his thumb at Sharkface. "He's a little nerdy." Hands to his hips, he continued. "But anyways. We are the Pipotron Brothers."

"But… you have a sister," I replied, one of my brows arched in a questionable manner.

"Yeller doesn't mind. She's a bit of a tomboy." I noticed his voice was deep and rather gruff like I expected, but I found it hard to resist snickering at his occasional Southern accent. "In case y'all can't already tell from the way we look, I'm Red. Call me however ya like."

_In that case, how 'bout 'Underbite'?_ I walked over to my vanity to pick up my purse, and I dug through it until I found my keys. "Let's have a bite to eat. It's on me." _Good idea. I can satisfy myself and ditch them after._

Red crossed his arms and his eyes narrowed. "Are you sure? 'Cause y'all look like the kind who'd ditch people they don't like at random diners." _Oh, boy, this guy's onto me!_ "Of course, if you wanna ditch Blue there, that's fine by me." Arms uncrossed, his fists tightened. "But anyone else, and I'll hunt ya down and—"

A yellow finger tapped Pipotron Red's shoulder. "Brother. Temper." Although young, at this moment, Yellow acted more like a counselor than a kid sister. Quickly returning to her little world, she witnessed her second brother worshipping his new CD.

_Weirdoes_, I thought as I began to step off. "If you're hungry, my offer's still up." I looked back and winked, hoping to catch the attention of at least one of them. _Hey, if they come, then maybe I won't feel as lonely._

Pipotron Blue picked up his new gift and waved it excitedly in the air. "Count me in!" Yellow stopped to raise her hand, and all Red could do was shrug.

At the Hoppin' Bananas Diner, a small and tacky-looking eatery with only a few small tables, I sat across from Pipotron Red, with Yellow beside him and Blue to me. _Jiminy Chimp! What horrible fate made me sit next to this guy, of all monkeys?_

To make it short, dinner was terrible. Blue, apparently unable to chew because of his all-canines teeth, gnashed and gorged down the chicken and pizza—even Monkey Yellow has better manners than he does! Red wasn't much better in etiquette, but at least he can chew more than lash out. The two guys' appetites were big, with Blue as the victor. I tried to hold my temper as I thought of the bill—though I found it to be the least of my problems.

After Blue finished "cleaning" his fourth course, I gave him some change and pointed to the jukebox. "Here. Go look for a good song—hopefully, one sung by me."

Overjoyed, he ran over to the giant music player and browsed through the song lists. When I looked back, I noticed that Red and I were alone… and staring at each other.

Nervously, I bothered to ask, "Why are you looking at me?"

"Those eyes of yours," he answered, sounding either dreamy or drunk from the two drinks he had. "I've never seen a color like that on anyone. Is it pink or red?"

Blushing, I answered, "Magenta, actually. And yeah, it's not exactly normal for a monkey." _He's not _all_ bad, I guess; better than his fanatic brother._

Before any of us can speak, a familiar-sounding song played. Red's eyes widened in curiosity. "Is that…"

"Yes, that's me singing. The song's not mine, though. It's just a measly cover…"

"Aww, don't be modest! It's not measly at all! Actually, you sound… sweet, seductive." He gave a mischievous smirk and said, "I like that."

My cheeks turned a shade darker than my soft pink fur. "Do you talk like this to all women you meet?"

"Just the sexy ones." _Oh, boy! I know I'm pretty, but _sexy?

Suddenly I felt uncomfortable. "Is there anything other than my appearance that interests you," I asked rather dryly.

"Well, we're on the same page with the Jaws of Life by the jukebox," he replied as he eyed Pipotron Blue tripping over someone's pizza and causing overall calamity. "Honestly, I'm not much of a 'look deep' type of guy; looks and a decent temper are enough for me."

"I can be superficial at times, too. But when it comes to traits, I prefer one who's loyal and brave and funny and honest. Oh, and they got to have a nice ride."

Red fiddled with a spoon in his hands. "I'm pretty much all that… 'cept the loyalty and ride. Blue's got loyalty to a T."

The slight turn of subject threw me off. "From the way you make fun of him," I said, feeling guilty for my past thoughts, "I thought you hated your brother."

He shook his head, and for once since my meeting with him, he looked sad, vulnerable. "He can be an idiot at times, but that don't mean I don't like him. In fact, I feel kinda sorry for him. Blue's a scaredy-cat 'n he gets real anxious around others—'specially ones he likes—and there are times when I have to help break the ice. But sometimes…" He put the spoon down. "When I lose my temper or do something stupid to piss of a guy, he's not afraid to put his life on the line to protect me 'n Yeller."

I was speechless. Now I felt _really_ guilty about what I thought of him. The klutzy, fanatic sibling who couldn't even eat right, the quivering mess of fur and sweat… He may had given me a terrible first impression, but I wasn't acting much better around him. I rose from my seat. "I'm going to the bathroom," I said quickly to him before running off to the hallways, where the restrooms were located.

**Author's Note:**

I originally intended to make this yet another one-shot story, but due to the direction it's going, I had a slight writer's block, and I'll be making a second chapter to finish it. As a note from my everyday life, I just saw the newest episode of Danny Phantom with the ghost named Amorpho, and I believe I have a new idea for a fanfic. But to be honest, I'm afraid that if I mess up while doing it, I'll get bombarded by flames from DP fans, telling me about my inaccuracies. So it'll take me some thinking (and possibly a bit of encouragement from those interested) before I actually do write it.

I'm pretty much out of things to say, so here's the usual stuff.

_Constructive criticism?_ Accepted!

_Praises?_ Me likey!

_Flames?_ Into the inflammable trash bin!


End file.
